Sleep is definitely NOT overrrated!

I guess it's no coincidence that this blog hasn't been updated since April - Max hasn't been sleeing too well. Since April. Just a phase we said....3 months ago. This is the longest phase of disrupted sleeping we have had since he was born and I think we have more or less decided it isn't going to solve itself quickly. So what's happening and what can we do about it?

The Scenario
Max's main aim appears to be to get into the maternal bed but the main problem is a) what happens before he gets there and b) what happens when he gets there. Entry to our room is, for some reason, frequently preceeded by small, medium or whopping great tantrums which appear to spring from nowhere and, ironically, involve, amidst the screaming and shouting, him telling us to "go away / geh weg!" Of course other kids often want to be in bed with their parents too and this is probably a normal phase but the tantrums are beyond the pale. The only thing we appear to be able to do when Max has these little 'fits' is instruct him to tell us when he needs a cuddle i.e. when he has finished. No point in touching him because you just get beaten about the head.

Then, what happens when Max is actually in the bed with us? Sometimes he sleeps peacefully which is fine but often enough there is a period or two of tossing and turning and feet in the face and diagonal positions and needing the blanket on and the blanket off and the blanket the other way round which leads to a generally disturbed night for everyone.

The Options

We have tried various half-hearted solutions - returning him when he is asleep, taking him back when he is tossing and turning - but nothing very consistent or insistent. Just to make sure things he doesn't make anything too easy for us, Max has also decided he doesn't want to wear a nappy at night and, even if he does have one on, he still wakes to tell us he needs a wee so we are in the process of doing away with nighttime nappies too...too much at once? Probably. End of our teathers? Definitely.

We need to get tough. The soft option of either letting him carry on until he grows out of it or returning him to bed when he falls asleep (which we sometimes do and it usually leads to him returning a couple more times in the night) is, as time goes on, not looking so attractive anymore.

So, it's either quick return (a la Tanya Byron) or a stairgate on his bedroom door. Big question is what happens in between - controlled crying, cold turkey, crying it out? Given that I am in the UK (well rested) and Marion is back in Germany looking after Max and his nighttime escapades alone, we haven't quite developed a plan of action yet. We think we'll try and return him every time he comes but what about the tantrums? And what if he genuinely needs a wee? And what if it doesn't work? And what if one of us has a nervous breakdown first??

As usual, answers on a postcard...